That moment when Yosef finally set his eyes on Binyamin was the moment when he could no longer contain himself and he revealed himself to his brothers. This meeting was a high point within Yaakov’s family history and it serves as a dramatic moment in Jewish history.
The midrash attempts to imagine the conversation that took place between the two brothers at that momentous juncture in time. From the perspective of the rabbinic sages, the conversation opens with a laconic clarification of information regarding Binyamin and his family:
“Looking about, he saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son” (Bereishit 43:29).
R. Shmuel b. Nahman said: At the moment when Yosef saw Binyamin, he calmed down and said: “May God be gracious to you, my boy.”
He then said to them: Bring him close to me. And he began to ask him questions.
He asked him, “Have you a brother?”
He replied, “I had a brother but I know not what became of him.”
He asked him, “Are you married?”
He replied, “I am married and have ten sons.”
These questions, which are technical in nature, served as Yosef’s attempt to understand how his being sold into slavery had affected his brother. He wonders whether Binyamin remembers him at all, and whether he is aware that he had an older brother who went missing. Once this question is clarified, it appears that Yosef is simply curious about Binyamin’s personal status, and he learns that his younger brother has already built a large family. At this point he inquires as to the names of his children:
Yosef asked him, “And what are their names?” Benjamin replied, “Bela, Becher etc.” (cf. 46:21).
But for the midrash, the list of names will not suffice – even though that is the information that Binyamin must have shared with Yosef. According to the midrash, Binyamin’s children’s names are the true surprise for Yosef. For they indicate that not only was Binyamin aware of Yosef’s disappearance, but that it was the foundational event of his life. His children’s names testify that the tragic loss of his older brother became more and more painful for Binyamin with every family event over the years. The birth of each additional child was an additional opportunity to memorialize his brother.
Yosef inquired, “What are the ideas underlying these names?”
He replied:
Bela (בלע) because he was swallowed up (נבלע) from me;
Becher (בכר) because he was the firstborn (בכור) of his mother;
Ashbel (אשבל) because God sent him into captivity (שבאו אל),
Gera (גרא) because he had to live (גר) in a foreign country;
Naaman (נעמן) because he was exceedingly pleasant (נעים);
Ahi (אחי) because he was a true brother (אח) to me;
Rosh (ראש) because he was my superior (ראש);
Muppim (מופים) because he was beautiful (יפה) in every way;
Huppim (חופים) because he did not witness my marriage (חופה —marriage canopy) and I did not witness his marriage;
and Ard (ארד) because he was the most beautiful of roses (ורד) amongst the nations.
(Bereishit Rabbah Vayigash 93).
Yosef’s absence echoes in each one of Binyamin’s son’s names. This addition presented by the midrash helps explain why that is the fateful moment for Yosef, when he could no longer hold back sharing that he was their brother.
But the list of names goes beyond an expression of Binyamin’s pain and longing for his brother. It exhibits an intricate progression of mourning that develops over the years.
Binyamin’s firstborn was called Bela (swallowed up), expressing the feeling of sudden loss – as if his brother was simply swallowed up by the earth. The feeling of total lack of preparation for Yosef’s disappearance was the first painful experience that Binyamin carried with him. The open wound develops over time: Recognition of how life differs when his big brother – his role model – was gone, is enshrined in the name Becher (firstborn). The anger that with the loss comes with time can be heard in the name Ashbel (captive); Binyamin feels that part of himself was taken and held captive in the depths of his consciousness.
The next set of names show the longing and compassion that Binyamin feels for his brother, as they express that Binyamin has moved beyond the initial stage of shock and internalization. He now begins to recognize the suffering that Yosef must be experiencing having been sent as a captive to some foreign land. After these sentiments he finds expression for the vacuum – the emptiness that exists – because Yosef is gone. Ahi (my brother) is not here to serve as a role model; Muppim (beautiful), the beautiful child is gone. Finally, Huppim. The reality that he is missing in the here-and-now. Recognition that Yosef will be missing from all of the significant moments in Binyamin’s life: “he did not witness my marriage and I did not witness his marriage.” Losses like this cannot be made up.
There is an alternative suggestion in the midrash regarding the meaning of Binyamin’s children’s names and their connection with Yosef, which also connects them with the sense of loss. In this version, Binyamin does not express a sense of personal loss; indeed, he may not have any direct memories of Yosef at all. Binyamin experiences the loss of Yosef vicariously through his father:
Ashbel – that he was sent into captivity and taken from his father;
Naaman – that he was exceedingly pleasant to his father and his mother;
and so forth.
This description of secondary mourning is perhaps even more heartrending. We hear of a person who does not truly know what he is missing, and his only relationship is based on some old photographs and fragments of memories, by which he conjures up the image of his unknown and lost brother.
It was at that moment that Yosef was overcome with emotion, as it says: “With that, Joseph hurried out, for he was overcome with feeling toward his brother and was on the verge of tears” (Bereishit 43:30).
There is one additional element that the midrash does not state outright, but should be taken into account to complete the picture. Binyamin’s family is unusual. In contrast with his brothers, he has ten sons – a very large family. No explanation is offered for this, but we might suggest that the missing element in his life encouraged him to have more children. He desired to create life in order to try and fill that sense of emptiness. Having children serves as a powerful life-force that intensifies the illusion that creation of more and more life can serve as compensation for the loss of life – and even more, offers a response to the question: What is the meaning of life?
Is my father still alive? (Bereishit 45:3)
Yosef is still alive! (Bereishit 45:26)
Enough! My son Yosef is still alive! (Bereishit 45:28)
