Likely the most common question that is discussed regarding the story of Yosef and his brothers’ visit to Egypt is what Yosef’s intention was in his seemingly cruel and heartless treatment of his brothers. Without revealing his identity, Yosef accuses the brothers of spying – even though they had clearly come, like countless others from the nations around Egypt, to purchase food – and demands that they return to Canaan and then come back to Egypt with their youngest brother, Binyamin. Then, he frames Binyamin by having a servant place his silver goblet in Binyamin’s bag, and decrees that Binyamin should remain as a slave because of his crime. In Parashat Vayigash, we read of Yehuda’s impassioned plea to Yosef on Binyamin’s behalf, and after Yehuda’s appeal Yosef finally reveals his identity, speaks kindly with his brothers, and offers to support them and their families in Egypt. What is all this about?
The Ramban (to 42:9) famously – though somewhat controversially – explained that Yosef’s actions were driven by his commitment to fulfill the dreams he dreamt as a teenager. As we read in Parashat Vayeshev (37:7), he first dreamt of his brothers bowing before him, and then (37:9) of his parents and brothers bowing. The Ramban explains that Yosef needed to find a way to have Binyamin brought to Egypt, without Yaakov, so that the first dream would be fulfilled. Then, he could have his brothers bring Yaakov for the fulfillment of the second dream. The reason Yosef wanted to keep Binyamin with him, according to the Ramban, is that he feared that the others brothers might resent Binyamin and cause him harm along the way home, just as they had done to Yosef. But once Yosef saw Yehuda’s efforts to rescue Binyamin, he realized that there was no reason for concern, and he immediately revealed his identity and instructed them to bring Yaakov.
The Meshekh Chokhma, in his comments to Parashat Vayigash (45:1), suggests a slight variation of this approach. He claims that Yosef’s intent was to force Yaakov to come to Egypt and bow before him, by holding Binyamin, his beloved son, captive. In this manner, the second dream would be fulfilled. However, after Yehuda’s appeal, Yosef felt compelled to reveal his identity and forego on the fulfillment of his dreams. The Torah relates that Yosef revealed his identity when he “could no longer restrain himself in front of all those standing near him” (45:1). According to the Meshekh Chokhma, this means that Yosef felt embarrassed in the presence of the Egyptian officials. They, undoubtedly, viewed Yosef’s treatment of this Canaanite family as peculiar, bizarre, and insensibly ruthless. Obviously unaware of Yosef’s childhood dreams which he deemed prophetic and thus felt bound to fulfill, they saw Yosef’s conduct as cruel, harsh and irrational, and it was inappropriate for Yosef to present such an image. He therefore had no choice but to accept Yehuda’s plea, and thus his scheme could not continue as planned. At that point, he revealed his identity.
The Meshekh Chokhma’s approach is striking as it underscores the importance of avoiding appearing unethical. According to the Meshekh Chokhma, Yosef was prepared to subject his brothers and his aged father to unimaginable aggravation and torment for the sake of fulfilling his dreams, but refused to pay the price of giving the appearance of being cruel and ruthless. Actively bringing about the fulfillment of these prophecies was important enough of a goal to imprison Shimon and then Binyamin, and send the brothers back and forth from Canaan – but it did not justify appearing immoral in front of the Egyptian officials.
The Meshekh Chokhma here teaches the importance of not only being moral, but also appearing moral, and that sometimes even important endeavors should not be pursued if they require outwardly appearing cruel and insensitive.