When we are too worried about their stature and prestige, this concern gets in the way of constructive effort. It is devastating for somebody to see a subordinate rise above him or her, and yet Sara put herself in a position to experience this kind of humiliation. The Midrash saw in Sara’s decision to have Avraham marry Hagar an extreme model of sacrificing stature for the sake of producing desired results.
The Torah in Parashat Lekh-Lekha tells of Avraham’s marriage to Hagar, Sara’s maidservant, a bold measure initiated by Sara herself after being married for many years without children. She tells Avraham, “Marry, please, my maidservant, so perhaps I, too, will be built through her” (16:2). Sara chose to create this uneasy situation in her home, which had the result of compromising her own status, for the sake of bringing children which, in some way, would be considered hers.
The Midrash Ha-gadol, commenting on this verse, cites the verse in Mishlei (30:21) which lists “a maidservant who dispossesses her mistress” as one of the phenomena that causes the “earth to tremble.” It is devastating for somebody to see a subordinate rise above him or her, and yet Sara put herself in a position to experience this kind of humiliation. The Midrash comments, “This shows you the power of our matriarch Sara who was not jealous of her maidservants, and was rather concerned for the sake of Heaven.”
Often, the concern to protect one’s honor can hinder progress and productivity. People refuse to enter partnerships with potential to yield great benefit, because they feel superior to the prospective partners. Committees working on important projects break down because of power struggles. People turn down jobs that would benefit them because they feel the work is beneath them. When we are too worried about their stature and prestige, this concern gets in the way of constructive effort. The Midrash saw in Sara’s decision to have Avraham marry Hagar an extreme model of sacrificing stature for the sake of producing desired results. Sara wanted children, and acknowledged that this could happen only if she was prepared to compromise her position in the home and share her husband with her maidservant. And as painful as this was – and, as we read later, despite the problems and tensions it caused – she was prepared to undertake this drastic measure in order to have children through Hagar.
The Midrash bids us to learn from Sara’s example and be prepared to put aside our natural desire for honor and prestige when this is necessary in order to achieve. If we are overly concerned with status, we will find ourselves stifled and hindered, and unable to accomplish to our fullest potential.