"But the children clashed inside her, and when this occurred, she asked, 'Why is this happening to me?' She went to seek a message from God."(Bereishit 25:22)
In last week's parasha, Yitzchak married Rivka. Now they are expecting a child. Since Chava's curse, pregnancy has been difficult, but this is worse. Unbeknownst to Rivka, she is carrying twins and they're fighting. According to the Ramban, her reaction in our quote is better translated as her wishing she was dead. Experiencing such discomfort, she lost her will to live. What does this tell us about Rivka, mother of our nation? What can we learn from her as a role model?
The accepted way of explaining the stories of Bereishit is to read them as showing the greatness of our forefathers. This is consistent with the main flow of the narrative and with God's choice of the Jewish people. We do it, though, because that is our tradition. How do we explain this Ramban? Rivka, rather than being strong enough to fight pain, seems overcome by it.
The solution is found in the conclusion of the verse above, "she went to seek a message from God." Despite extreme pain and discomfort, wishing she is dead, her reaction is to find meaning in the pain, to try to reconnect to God. That is a very different model of greatness. She is not a superhuman in the teeth of suffering. Rather, she has the capability to pick herself up in a time of pain and recover her will to live.
Her answer from God is not so positive. Two warring nations will come from her womb. For Rivka, though, it is enough that there is a divine plan, a meaning to her pain.
After marrying, Rivka never sees her family again. She has two sons. One, Esav, goes off the path, marries unsuitably, and vows to kill his brother. His brother, Yaacov, her favorite, is forced to flee and she never sees him again.
It reads like a tragedy and it seems that Rivka felt the pain. However, she knew that, through Ya'akov, she was a mother of the chosen people. She saw her place in God's plan. She did not deny her pain. She served God through her pain. A worthy role model indeed!