Just as Avraham waived his rights to Sedom’s property in order to avoid the people’s resentment, similarly, it is occasionally preferable not to insist on receiving what one deserves, in the interest of social harmony.
Among the incidents recorded in Parashat Lekh-Lekha is the battle that Avraham led against the four kingdoms that had captured the five cities of the Jordan River valley. In order to rescue his nephew, Lot, who was taken captive from Sedom, Avraham mobilized a small force and pursued the four kings, ultimately defeating them. The king of Sedom greeted Avraham upon his return from battle and offered him all the possessions of Sedom that he had retrieved from the captors. But Avraham refused the offer, proclaiming that he would not take anything belonging to Sedom, “so that you will not say: ‘I made Avram wealthy’” (14:23).
Many writers addressed the question of why Avraham refused to accept property from Sedom, but did not hesitate (or at least did not appear to hesitate) to accept large gifts during his stay in Egypt. As we read earlier in the parasha (12:16), Avraham became very wealthy when, during his stay in Egypt, Pharaoh took Sara, thinking she was Avraham’s sister. As a member of the “royal family,” Avraham was offered and accepted large amounts of cattle and servants. The question thus arises as to why Avraham accepted the gifts of Pharaoh, but refused the gifts of the Sedomite ruler. It is worth noting that Avraham refused to accept the property of Sedom despite the fact that he was, presumably, entitled to it, given that he had retrieved it from captivity. Ironically, he refused to accept this property, while he unhesitatingly accepted the undeserved gifts of Pharaoh.
The Moshav Zekeinim (a collection of commentaries by the Tosafists) answers by attributing Avraham’s refusal to take the property of Sedom to the particular nature of the city’s population. The people of Sedom, a wicked city that God would later destroy, were characterized by tzarut ayin – selfishness and stinginess. Indeed, we later read how the people of Sedom threatened Lot because he welcomed guests into his home. They objected to the notion of sharing one’s possessions with others, believing that each person’s resources are reserved for him. The Moshav Zekeinim cites in this context the verse in Sefer Mishlei (23:6), “Al tilcham et lechem ra ayin,” which warns against partaking of the food offered by a selfish person. As Shelomo explains in the next verse, even if the selfish person outwardly extends an invitation and shares his food, in his heart he feels resentful (“Ekhol u-shtei yomar lakh ve-libo bal imakh”). The Moshav Zekeinim thus explains that Avraham refused to take the property of Sedom because he anticipated the people’s resentful feelings. He realized that although he rightfully deserved a share of the possessions, it served his interests to refuse, rather than invite the previous owners’ animosity. But the people of Egypt, the Moshav Zekeinim suggests, were perhaps not plagued by the same degree of selfishness as the Sedomites, and therefore Avraham did not refused the gifts offered by Pharaoh.
What this approach perhaps teaches is that at times it is advisable to forego on that to which one is legitimately entitled, for the sake of peaceful relations. Just as Avraham waived his rights to Sedom’s property in order to avoid the people’s resentment, similarly, it is occasionally preferable not to insist on receiving what one deserves, in the interest of social harmony. The fact that a claim or argument is valid does not make it advisable. As Avraham shows, sometimes we are better off foregoing on what we deserve and sparing ourselves the animosity and hard feelings of others.