The reason why we find criticism difficult to handle is because it immediately places us in a position of inferiority in the speaker’s eyes – just as Yosef’s dreams placed his brothers in a position of inferiority. What ensues, like in the story of Yosef, is essentially a power struggle. We, like Yosef’s brothers, resent and resist our relegation to an inferior position, which of course entails resisting the call to change.
The Torah in Parashat Vayeshev tells of Yosef’s dreams of leadership and authority over his brothers, and the brothers’ angry response when Yosef informed them of these visions.
The Midrash (Bereishit Rabba 84) takes note of the expression, “Shim’u na” (“Listen, if you will”), with which Yosef introduced the news about his dream (“Listen, if you will, to this dream which I dreamt” – 37:6). This expression, the Midrash observes, was also used later, by the prophets, in introducing their words of criticism to the people. (The Midrash cites specifically the verse in Mikha 6:1.) The Midrash relates that Yosef said to his brothers, “This is how the prophets will administer reproof to you.”
One approach we might take in explaining the Midrash’s comment is that it seeks to shed some light on the uneasy feeling people generally experience upon hearing criticism. Listening to somebody tell us what we’ve done wrong, no matter how gently and respectfully this is done, causes us discomfort. The Midrash, perhaps, explains this phenomenon by drawing a comparison between listening to criticism and the brothers listening to Yosef’s dreams. The brothers quite obviously felt threatened by the dreams, which foresaw their younger brother asserting his authority over them. They couldn’t bear to think that they would one day be subservient to Yosef, whom they considered arrogant and impetuous. Hearing of Yosef’s aspirations of leadership naturally evoked harsh feelings of resentment.
A similar feeling often overcomes people as they hear criticism. What rattles them is not the knowledge that they have done something wrong, but rather the implication that the speaker assumes a certain degree of authority over them. The reason why we find criticism difficult to handle is because it immediately places us in a position of inferiority in the speaker’s eyes – just as Yosef’s dreams placed his brothers in a position of inferiority. What ensues, like in the story of Yosef, is essentially a power struggle. We, like Yosef’s brothers, resent and resist our relegation to an inferior position, which of course entails resisting the call to change.
Unfortunately, the people of the First Temple era refused to accept the prophets’ criticism, and instead insisted on defending their damaged egos by rejecting the calls for change. Upon hearing discomfiting words of criticism, we must overcome the natural tendency to resist, and ignore the question of our stature vis-à-vis the “prophet,” whoever it may be, who offers the criticism. Our only chance of self-improvement lies in our willingness to leave our egos aside and be willing to accept advice and criticism from wherever it may come, without concern for personal feelings of pride.