To be successful, in any area, a person must be prepared to pursue his goals even when obstacles arise and when the adrenaline ceases to flow, when the initial rush of idealism and determined resolve subsides.
In the midst of the narrative of the sale of Yosef and his travails in Egypt, the Torah inserts the story of Yehuda and Tamar, which begins by informing us that "Yehuda descended from his brothers" (38:1). Rashi famously cites from the Midrash that Yehuda "descended" not merely geographically or topographically, but in terms of his family stature: "They deposed him from his position of greatness when they saw their father's anguish [as a result of Yosef's absence]. They said [to Yehuda], 'You told us to sell him; had you told us to bring him back, we would have listened to you!'"
At first glance, Yehuda's demotion as a result of the sale of Yosef seems terribly unfair. True, he had conceived of the idea of selling his brother, but he had done so only after the others had suggested killing him. Yehuda had at least given Yosef a chance for survival, after the other brothers had decided upon eliminating him. Why did he deserve to be ousted from his position for his efforts, just because they were only partially successful?
A similar question arises from an astounding remark in Bereishit Rabba (85:4): "Whoever begins a mitzva and does not complete it buries his wife and children. From whom do we learn this – from Yehuda." Yehuda "began the mitzva" of saving Yosef by suggesting that his brothers sell him as a slave rather than kill him, but he stopped there. Rather than completing the mitzva, by bringing Yosef back home safely, he stopped intervening when he won his brothers' consent to sell Yosef. Thereafter, Yehuda lost his wife and two children, as told in the next section, serving as a warning to all those who begin a mitzva but fail to bring it through to completion. (See also Masekhet Sota 13b.)
Why should a person be punished for initiating a mitzva but failing to complete it? Does such a person deserve harsher retribution than those who do not initiate the mitzva in the first place?
It would seem that Chazal seek to warn against the all too common phenomenon of great ideas that never reach fruition due to laziness or indifference. People are often driven to initiate new projects and embark on new mitzva ventures, but once the initial excitement wanes, and the "elbow grease" and pressures begins to mount, these projects and ventures are relegated to the back burners. To be successful, in any area, a person must be prepared to pursue his goals even when obstacles arise and when the adrenaline ceases to flow, when the initial rush of idealism and determined resolve subsides. Chazal therefore sharply criticize the one who lets go of his aspirations the moment difficulties surface and the emotional energy begins to decline. The warning regarding this person's wife and children likely relates to this theme. Marriage and parenting both begin with a rush of excitement and idealism, which gradually begins to subside as the pressures of family life mount and the day-to-day responsibilities overshadow the broader goals and aspirations. A person with a tendency to begin new ventures without completing them, who stops his pursuit of goals when he meets with challenges or adversity, will find it difficult to succeed in his family life, in the capacity of spouse and parent, roles which require steadfast resolve and unshakeable lifelong commitment. (See also Rav Yerucham Lebovitz, Da'at Torah.)