Interestingly, however, Leah shifts onto a much different theme with the birth of her fourth son, Yehuda: “She said: This time, I shall thank the Lord.” In this instance, there is no mention of her struggle for Yaakov’s love and desire to establish her prominence in the household. Instead, she simply thanks God for the blessing of her fourth child.
Apparently, as Rav Shimon Schwab noted (as cited by Rabbi Shmuel Silber), by the time Yehuda was born Leah had already accepted her position in the family. She no longer craved the primary status which she now realized she could not achieve. And once she was able to make peace with this reality, she was able to feel grateful and declare, “Odeh et Hashem.”
Significantly, Rashi (citing the Midrash) comments that Leah thanked God because she prophetically foresaw that Yaakov would beget twelve sons from four wives, and having now mothered four sons, she was mathematically guaranteed the stature of primary matriarch. Leah underwent a process of accepting that which she could not have and focusing her attention instead on the blessings that she did have. Acceptance allows us to feel grateful rather than resentful. Once we cease feeling disappointed and frustrated by what we seem unable to obtain, our minds and emotions will be free to enjoy and celebrate all that we have obtained.
It should be noted, however, that Leah’s feelings of frustration and angst appear to resurface later. After the birth of her sixth and final son, Zevulun, Leah exclaims, “Now my husband will establish his abode with me” (“Ha-pa’am yizbeleni ishi” – 30:20). Although Leah had resigned herself to her secondary status before Yehuda’s birth, it seems that her insecurity and disappointment continued to haunt her, to the point where the birth of her sixth child provided a degree comfort and solace.
Indeed, feeling content is a lifelong struggle. Even after we accept and make peace with unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, it is natural for the feelings of disappointment to occasionally resurface and cause us a degree of unease or angst. We learn from Leah, though, that we are nevertheless capable of jubilantly declaring, “Odeh et Hashem,” and feeling joyful and content with the many blessings in our life despite the many blessings for which we hoped but never received. Even as we struggle with feelings of disappointment, we must try, as much as possible, to appreciate what we are given and express our gratitude to the Almighty.