Reuven's (Midrashic) Dream Interpretation

     The Torah in Parashat Vayeshev tells the story of mekhirat Yosef – the sale of Yosef as a slave.  We read that Yosef’s brothers initially plotted to kill him and then cast his remains into a nearby pit, where they would likely never be found.  Reuven, in a partially successful attempt to save Yosef, suggested to the other brothers that instead of killing Yosef directly, they should throw him into the nearby pit and let him die there naturally.  Reuven’s argument for this idea was the moral concern to avoid directly murdering their brother, but the Torah tells that his true motivation was to later rescue Yosef from the pit (“le-ma’an hatzil oto mi-yadam” – 37:22).

            The Midrash (Bereishit Rabba 84:15) suggests an explanation for why Reuven, as opposed to any of the other brothers, was driven to save Yosef’s life.  At first glance, Reuven, as the biological firstborn, had more reason than any of them to resent the special distinction which Yaakov afforded Yosef.  In fact, the verse in Divrei Hayamim I (5:1) states that the firstborn status was taken away from Reuven in the wake of the incident with Bilha, and given to Yosef.  We might have thus expected Reuven to harbor even stronger feelings of resentment toward Yosef than the other brothers.  The Midrash explained that Reuven wanted to save Yosef specifically because of his dreams of authority and leadership.  Yosef had dreamt of all his brothers – including Reuven – prostrating before him.  These dreams were a source of encouragement for Reuven, indicating to him that he was still included in Yaakov’s family despite the grievous sin he had committed.  He had feared that he had forfeited not only his status as firstborn, but his inclusion in the developing nation of Israel.  Yosef’s dreams included Reuven as part of the family, thereby easing Reuven’s fears of expulsion from the Israelite nation.

            Rav Avraham Pam (cited in Rav Shalom Smith’s Rav Pam on Chumash, pp. 204-5) noted one of the practical messages conveyed by the Midrash’s comment:

Two people can hear the exact same words and react in diametrically opposite ways.  Yosef’s dream of a sun, a moon and eleven stars bowing down to him infuriated his brothers, who cried out, “Will you then reign over us?  Will you then dominate us?” (37:8).  That same dream filled Reuven’s heart with joy and calmed his fears that he and his descendants would be banished forever from the Jewish nation.  Instead of being angered and insulted by Yosef’s grandiose dream, he felt honored and relieved that he was counted as one of the eleven stars!

There are many situations in life where a person’s remarks may be interpreted in various ways, each listener hearing what he wants to hear.  Wars between nations have broken out based on faulty communications.  Countless business partnerships, friendships and marriages have been destroyed due to misconstrued remarks that wreaked havoc on the relationship.  A Jew must train himself to look for the good in what he hears by following the advice of Chazal to judge everyone favorably (Pirkei Avos 1:6).

Obviously, it is not always easy to do this.  It runs contrary to what present-day society thrives on, where the media anxiously waits to pounce on and publicize any ambiguous remark that can be misunderstood or misinterpreted.  A good number of political careers have ended abruptly in disgrace because of a “slip of the tongue” – the remark was immediately pounced on by the press, taken out of context and blown out of proportion.  Such occurrences have become so commonplace that people seem to think it is almost a mitzvah to act in such a manner.  But nothing could be further from the truth.

Reuven and the other brothers heard Yosef’s dream together, but reacted in opposite ways.  The other brothers heard of Yosef’s aspirations for dominion, and were enraged.  Reuven, however, who had been plagued by anxiety over his questionable future, heard that he is included in the family, and rejoiced.  A person’s words can be a source of anger or ridicule for some, but a source of respect and appreciation for others.  The lesson of this incident, according to Rav Pam, is not to rush to criticize when we hear words that strike us as insulting.  Often, there is a valid explanation for what was said, the words were spoken rashly in a moment of anxiety, or, as in the case of Yosef’s dreams, there are favorable aspects to the remarks which deserve focus and attention.  Reuven’s response to Yosef’s dreams should thus remind us that there is more one way to react to what we hear, and it is up to us to choose the favorable response in the interest of avoiding unnecessary strife and contention.