Moshe's repeated stay on the mountain to receive the second set of tablets is similar to the first stay in its purpose, its time and in the abstention from food and water. Along with these similarities, there are differences in Moshe's state of mind and this difference expresses itself in the reason the Torah gives for the abstention from food and water during the different visits to the mountain. During Moshe's first stay on the mountain the Torah describes: "When I had gone up into the mount to receive the tablets of stone, the tablets of the covenant, which God made with you, then I abode in the mount forty days and forty nights; I did neither eat bread nor drink water." (Devarim 9, 9) When he went up for the second tablets the Torah describes: "And I fell down before God, as at the first, forty days and forty nights; I did neither eat bread nor drink water; because of all your sin which ye sinned, in doing that which was evil in the sight of God, to anger Him." (9, 18) Moshe's abstention on the first visit to the mountain stems from awe, closeness to God or intense concentration. In contrast, the abstention during the subsequent visit stems from a fear for the fate of the nation, a lack of appetite related to depression, nervousness or sadness. The Midrash aptly describes the lack of necessity to deal with the digestive system in times of intense elevation or intense distress: "And in all of these, Moshe did not need to take in or expel…" (Midrash Zuta, Kohelet 7)
The various Midrashim and commentaries that mention Moshe's leadership on the mountain offer additional insight into understanding Moshe's state of mind while on the mountain and the reason he abstained from food and water.
According to one Midrash, Moshe fasted on his first stay on the mountain because of a need for diligence and self-effacement in order to learn Torah: "You suffered for it (the Torah)." (Sifri Devarim 14) According to a different Midrash the abstention stems from self-control in order to do what was appropriate – Moshe being in the heavens abstained from food as was the customary behavior there. (Breishit Rabba Vayera 48) The Zohar describes a spiritual satiation as the reason for a lack of appetite. (Midrash Neelam 1, Toldot 135, 2) In a different comment in the Zohar, Moshe is described as someone who cleansed himself of any concept of self-worth so that he could be a conduit to transfer the Torah to the nation: "He had no self-benefit when he went up to the mountain." (Zohar Yitro 79)
It is apparent from this variety of sources that there are moments in which human nature is frozen or disabled, and the human being who has set aside his human characteristics is able to transform into a vessel of spiritual leadership. The different opinions in the Midrashim deal with the precise turn of events and internal processes that the leader undergoes in those special times.
Some Midrashim describe a conscious process while others describe a spontaneous one. Some describe a natural process while others describe a supernatural one. Some describe self-sacrifice while others describe dedication. The importance of describing these spiritual processes that Moshe underwent during this period is in the fact that this "gestation period" of Moshe, existing in such close proximity with God, is a foundational event in Moshe's leadership.
The evaluation of the experience of his ascent to the mountain and its essence point to the forces that cause a leader to be imbued with a dedication to the mission and motivate him further. This evaluation might shed light on the existence of different types of leadership. It might shed light on angles that we do not pay enough attention to and point to legitimate leadership motivations that are actually different from one another, though externally they appear as one phenomenon.
With regard to some of the leaders of the Torah world, learning Torah, teaching it and teaching Halakha are based on a spiritual satiation. They feel that God has blessed them with much good, vast knowledge and bestowed His grace upon them. As a result, they feel that they cannot hold back and they must share their knowledge with others, to give to others what they received for free as a present for no apparent reason.
Others are motivated to action by the suffering needed to understand the Torah with all of its challenges, the fear that it places on human beings, and the judgement it places upon them. Identification with challenges is a tool that they utilize and they act within this framework and give to the best of their abilities to those who come to learn from them.
With regard to others, their foundational experience is a beyond human consciousness one, an understanding that we live in a spiritual and abstract world that demands of us to adopt other ways of life and other patterns of behavior. Those leaders live in a consciousness of the desire to explain, to give theoretical or mystical meaning to life. They disseminate Torah as a device of self-control.
This principle has the potential to expand to a variety of experiences. The significance of all of these leadership styles is in their combination, in the understanding that all of them existed in Moshe.