Parashat Vayigash describes the moment when Yosef finally disclosed his identity to his brothers, who until then never imagined that the Egyptian vizier was their younger brother whom they had sold as a slave many years earlier. The verse that introduces this segment of the narrative is an ambiguous one, which has lent itself to several different interpretations: “Ve-lo yakhol Yosef le-hit’apeik le-khol ha-nitzavim alav va-yikra hotzi’u chol ish mei-alai” – “Yosef could not restrain himself in the presence of all who attended to him, and he called, ‘Bring everyone away from me’” (45:1).
The difficulty in this verse involves, mainly, the relationship between the phrase, “Yosef could not restrain himself” and the subsequent phrase – “in the presence of all who attended to him.” The first indicates that Yosef now revealed himself because he could not, emotionally, withhold his identity any longer. The second phrase, however, suggests that this lack of restraint somehow relates to the presence of his attendants as he spoke with his brothers.
Rashi explains, “He could not bear to have Egyptians standing with him and listening as his brothers are ashamed when he reveals himself to them.” According to Rashi, the word “le-hit’apeik” does not mean “restrain”; rather, it means that Yosef could not allow himself to reveal himself to the brothers in the presence of his Egyptian servants. Thus, this verse does not explain why Yosef chose to reveal his identity at this point. It simply informs the reader that before Yosef revealed his identity, he ordered everybody else to leave in order to spare his brothers humiliation.
The Radak, by contrast, held that indeed the reason for Yosef’s disclosing his identity at this moment was his inability to restrain his emotions. Upon hearing Yehuda’s impassioned pleas and his depiction of the pain Binyamin’s absence would cause Yaakov, Yosef broke down. He therefore quickly ordered all his servants out of the room so that he could reveal himself to his brothers, in private. (This also appears to be the approach taken by Ibn Ezra).
The Meshekh Chokhma suggests a different explanation, claiming that it was the presence of his Egyptian servants that led Yosef to reveal his identity. Interestingly, the Meshekh Chokhma follows the approach taken by some commentators that Yosef’s intent throughout this story was to bring his entire family to Egypt and have them bow before him, in fulfillment of his prophetic dreams of his parents and brothers bowing to him. These dreams’ fulfillment required that Yaakov join his sons in Egypt and bow before Yosef, and this was indeed Yosef’s planned course of action. However, he was forced to change his plans in light of Yehuda’s emotional petition which was heard by the others in the room. The Meshekh Chokhma explains:
It would not have been proper [to refuse Yehuda’s plea] in the presence of the people standing [in the room] who did not know the entire episode, and he would appear cruel, evil-hearted and merciless. He thus could not restrain himself because of all those attending to him.
It was not Yosef’s emotions that led him to identify himself, but rather the concern for how he would appear to the other Egyptians, who were entirely unaware of his prophetic dreams and plans for their fulfillment. To them, his treatment of the brothers appeared simply cruel. Yosef therefore had no choice but to change his course of action – and even suspend his plan of ensuring the realization of his dreams – in order that he not appear sadistic and heartless in the eyes of his Egyptian servants.