As in the cases of Yitzchak and Yaakov, external conflicts can sometimes be resolved far more easily than internal ones.
Parashat Vayetze begins with Yaakov’s flight from his hometown to escape the rage of his older twin, Esav. The Torah writes that Yaakov “left from Be’er Sheva,” emphasizing the fact that he left from the city of Be’er Sheva.
This emphasis may perhaps be intended to draw our attention to the irony in Yaakov’s hurried, frantic escape from Be’er Sheva. As we read in Parashat Toledot (chapter 26), Be’er Sheva is the place where Yitzchak settled to escape the hostility of the Philistines. He had earlier taken residence in the Philistine region of Gerar, until he was compelled to leave due to the envy and antagonism of the local population. Yitzchak then resided outside the city, until disputes with the surrounding shepherds over the limited water sources forced him to move further away from the Philistine population centers. He finally resided in Be’er Sheva, where the Philistine leader, Avimelekh, came to him to initiate a formal truce. It was also in Be’er Sheva where Yitzchak’s shepherds discovered a new well, which was named “Shiva.” This well apparently served as a reliable, long-term solution for Yitzchak’s shepherding needs, as the site was named “Be’er Sheva” after the well.
Be’er Sheva was thus the site of Yitzchak’s long-anticipated and hard-fought tranquility and stability. After an extended period of struggle with the hostile Philistines, Yitzchak finally achieved peace and security after settling in Be’er Sheva. This city offered him respite from antagonistic competitors, as well as a degree of financial security with the discovery of a new water source.
There is thus more than a tinge of irony in the fact that Yaakov was forced to frantically flee from Be’er Sheva, the city of refuge and security. The place that had provided Yitzchak with desperately-needed stability now endangered his heir. Be’er Sheva rescued Yitzchak from drought and hostile enemies, but could not protect the family from internal conflicts.
The pattern continues in the next generation, when Yaakov settled with his family in Chevron. He had managed to make peace with his corrupt father-in-law, Lavan, and then with his vengeful brother. Later, he was granted special divine protection from the hostile tribes of Canaan as he traveled southward toward Chevron (35:5). When Yaakov finally reached Chevron, he anticipated spending his remaining years enjoying peace, security and stability, only to see his dreams shattered by the sale of his beloved son into slavery at the hands of his brothers (“bikesh Yaakov le’shev be-shalva mi-yad kafatz alav rogzo shel Yosef” – Rashi, 37:1). Like in the previous generation, the family succeeded in overcoming external threats, but was torn asunder by internal strife.
It is often easier to get along and maintain peaceful relations with people on the outside then with those within our own nucleus. As in the cases of Yitzchak and Yaakov, external conflicts can sometimes be resolved far more easily than internal ones. The intensity of close relationships with family members and friends often results in complications that could cause tension and conflict. Many people enjoy pleasant relationships with friends and peers, but struggle with their relationships with close family members. The stories of internal family conflicts in Sefer Bereishit perhaps warn us of the fragility of family relationships, and alert us to the need to exercise particular care when dealing with those who are closest to us in order to avoid tension and strife.